The Story of Shahmeer

I was nearing two days due when I woke up finding a spot of blood on my underwear. That very morning, I asked my mom to come with me for a a checkup, hoping the doctor would finally find a softened cervix and some dilatation. It turned out to be a false alarm. Nothing happened down there heheh. My baby was where he wanted to be. My family and I discussed and agreed that regardless the result, we should just stay overnight in the hospital in case something happens. Hospital check-in: January 15th, 2014.

During my first night in the hospital, things progressed slowly. I remember that on that night, I was still only dilated to 1 centimeter. Just some mild contractions every 2 hours. By the way, the nursing staffs in RS. Premier Jatinegara were very friendly and attentive. They would check on me every hour and ask me how I feel. I think that was very nice.

The next morning, January 16th, the contractions were still mild. I was still okay although there were times I would be a wee bit crying holding the pain. But I made it through the half day just fine. I made a request to my family that I just wanted to be with S and nobody else. I also asked S to not turn on the TV. I just wanted the room to be quiet and peaceful.

The real, intense contractions started to happen after Isya prayers, I think. It started to happen every 30 minutes, and I would scream and cry and squeeze S’s hands. It was very, very, very painful. I honestly felt like I was going to die. I started to hold my breath a little bit throughout the contractions and read some Quran verses just to distract and calm myself at the same time. However, the nurses checked and I was still dilated to 2 centimeters only. That was like, at around 8:30 p.m. They predicted that I might be giving birth in the next 12 hours, or around 8:30 in the morning.

Needless to say, I wasn't smiling 10 minutes later. I started having harder contractions. I was so so so much in pain. I even went outside the room crawling and begged on my knees to the nurses to just do something. Anything. I remember begging them for any drug that could reduce the pain. I even begged for a C-Section but no one fulfilled my request. I was crying and screaming in the hallway. I couldn’t take it.

S could no longer ease me that he called my parents at 2 a.m to come and do something. My parents arrived at around 2:30 a.m. My mom kept holding my hands and I kept looking back at her crying. Then I apologized to her as if it was my last day on earth. There were no other words in my brain. Just pain. Then I told my mom, I don’t want the nurses to check me. I wanted the doctor to come. I just wanted to see my doctor, Dr. Julianto Witjaksono.

By 4:40 a.m, the doctor finally arrived. The moment I saw his face, I immediately screamed, “where have you beeeeeeeeen?”. OMG. It was the longest, longest 1,5 hours in my life waiting for the doctor to come.

When my doctor checked, turned out my baby’s head was already crowning. Crowning means, the baby’s head was already slightly out. Say whaaaaat???? THAT’S WHY IT WAS SO PAINFUL, yes?

The delivery process started immediately. When this began, my mood toooooootally changed. This was it. The moment I was waiting for. That “push push push” and "hush hush" rush I used to only watch in movies and would impersonate and make fun of with my friends sometimes. I was extremely excited and happy. It’s so weird. Just a few minutes ago I was crying like dying, and when the doctor officially said, “let’s begin”, I was smiling and laughing and even had the chance to crack a joke making everyone in the room laugh.

It took us only 10 minutes. Within 3 pushes, out he came. My little angel, at 4:50 a.m, January 17th, 2014.

My Shahmeer, very little and fragile.

I was so overwhelmed that I just kept looking at S and said, "so this is how it feels".



Alhamdulillah ya Allah. Alhamdulillah.