Eid Mubarak

Eid Mubarak from our little family in Switzerland! It’s interesting that we’re celebrating Eid earlier than Indonesia and Pakistan here. May you all have a great Eid filled with lots of love and forgiveness. Muah! 💕🙏🏻

Our Children

Who knew becoming a parent is this hard. Every single day, I feel nervous about something different. Why isn't she eating? Why isn't she cheerful as usual? Why is he less active today? Did he enjoy school? How did he get these bruises? Does she love me? Do they love me more than daddy? There's just always something I worry about, and it makes me think; it must have been hard for my parents too. Looking back, I realize I might not be the most open, cooperative daughter I could have been. I still have flashing images of that day when I was little and made my mom cry and my brother came calming my mom. Interestingly I don't even remember what I did to make her cry, but the feeling still lingers. It's not just about motherhood. It's parenthood. My husband has these feelings too. Children are so precious that we just don't know what to do at times. I just know that every single day is a gift from Allah that we all must always appreciate.

Family Pic (Finally!)

We never do this but I think it's about time we have a proper family pic..:D

Stroller Day

Weekend bus-ing with the kids..:)

Schmiley Mo top, jacket and pants, Tommy Jeans bum bag, Fila sneakers

A Love Letter To My Moonlight

Dear son,

I know our journey everyday to school is so tough especially for you. We take the bus, we take the train and we walk miles just to reach your school on a daily basis despite the weather that day. Regardless the heat, the rain, the freezing weather, the snow, from season to season, we do it all together with as much joy as possible. I know it is very tiring for you that you often fall asleep on the bus, and I would have to walk and carry you home even though you’re getting bigger and heavier day by day, and I would have backaches in the night. Your father has repeatedly offered me the easier way; to simply take the car and save so much hours for us. But I choose to wake ourselves up earlier and take the harder way. I do it because I love you. I do it because I want you to become a strong man. I want you to see the world, to feel alive, to be okay to sweat, to get soaked in rain, to just sit by the road eating biscuits together as you rest for a while. I do it because I want you to spend as much time on the streets and witness the many differences around us and be okay with it. I do it despite me often getting stares from people when you have your tantrums or put your feet on someone else’s lap and make them angry. I do it because all these little things, they will teach you. They will teach you in real life rather than theories found in books. You will see for yourself the cause and effect of doing things in public; what’s good, what’s bad, what’s proper, what’s rude. I do it because it is best for you, and whatever is best for you, is best for me. I just hope you will always remember our walks together and the silly songs I sing for you. You are my moonlight, the most beautiful one.

xoxo,
Mommy.

Precious Days

It's always a good day to spend time in the park with them two..:)

Moonlight & Sunshine

How did I get so lucky. Looking at them two I feel so blessed. Thank you, Allah...:)

Shahmeer is my moonlight. He's sweet, soft, compassionate.
Daria is my sunshine. She's bright, fresh, radiant.

Mothers, Mothers, Mothers.

Today my beautiful Daria vomited because I insisted for her to finish her carrots. She actually ate her carrots just fine, but as a mom, I always have that feeling where I will only feel happy feeding my kids if I see their plates perfectly clean and empty afterwards. But I guess this time I fed her more than she could take and I simply overdid the portion. I should have stopped but I didn’t.

Motherhood is never an easy task because I personally feel it gets very.. personal. You sometimes get confused whether what you’re doing is for your kid’s sake or actually for your own. It’s also because motherhood is very exhausting that us mothers tend to always try to make ourselves feel ‘good’ by doing what WE think is right but very often neglecting how THEY feel. Lack of reward? Maybe. Or maybe because we just feel that no reward is ever enough for what we have gone through during pregnancy and giving birth and everything that comes after therefore we always want to put OUR feelings first than others.

Can we ever stop feeling this way? I don’t know. Some can, some can’t, some won’t. After being a mother for the past 4 years to two children, here is what I have learned so far:

1. “Mothers know best”. Nope. A lot of mothers are clueless, including myself. I do believe in the power of a “mother’s intuition”, but even intuitions can go wrong. Mothers are simply best when they are open minded and willing to learn about being a mother itself; by reading books, articles, joining mom groups, consulting with experts, seeking opinions from family and friends. And even after all that learning, we’ll still make mistakes. It’s okay. Don’t be stubborn and think we always have to be right.
2. There is no such thing as a supermom. We’re all just moms trying to raise our kids in our own pace and capacity. Working / not working, natural birth / gentle birth / c-section, breastfeed / formula milk, nanny / no nanny, spoon-fed weaning / baby-led weaning, disposable diapers / cloth diapers, (and the list goes on), WE HAVE OUR OWN REASONS. Let’s not make these decisions cloud our life forever and make us judge other mothers more or less. My friends often tell me that I’m such a ‘supermom’ for being able to work and still take care of the kids all by myself while my hubby is away. But you see: 1) I had such a bad migraine on my 2nd night that I had to take 3 paracetamols and even that didn’t help so I just forced myself to sleep, 2) I fell asleep while I was playing with both of my kids on the bed and woke up 30 minutes later only to find them still lying next to me peacefully (thank God no one fell off the bed, really), 3) it’s the 4th day since hubby left and today I woke up with no voice already. I am THAT tired. So it’s not about being ‘super’. It’s just about sucking it all up because you have no other choice or because we decided to take up the challenge. That’s all.
3. Focus on our children’s happiness, not on tiny milestones that won’t even matter when they grow up. Have you ever heard the story of an employer interviewing a candidate where he asked, “when did you start walking?” or “at what age did you start reading?”. Never? Because there’s no such story. These things that we unconsciously compete with other mothers on, they won’t matter. Motherhood is not a competition and our children’s milestones are not too.
4. Be kind to other mothers. Mothers have gone through enough and we don’t need more drama by having mean moms around us. If you feel depressed because other mothers seem to be bullying you, open up. Share about it. Don’t keep it to yourself. And if you’re the bully, just don’t. Learn to mind your own business.

Make every day your own kind of Mother’s Day where we feel happy for being one in our own way. And never stop learning.

Tough Love

Family is where life begins and love never ends. A cycle of constant learning and sharing and compromising, tough but beautiful.

The H Word

This week has been one of the most tiring ever. Shahmeer was not feeling well, stayed at home for the whole week, Daria has been having a little bit of constipation ever since she started eating solid food, which brought us to visiting the pediatrician a few times. Phewh. I couldn't do any laundry, moreover do work for my businesses. At times like this, I just wish I could fly back to Indonesia, to be honest. Swiss life is great but sometimes, all we need is...help. 

Shahmeer I Love You

This is by far my most favorite picture of Shahmeer heheh. I just loved the way he posed and smiled at me naturally without having me to 'force' him like usual LOL. Raising a boy is pretty tough and I'm still (and always have been) struggling to understand the boys world. Lately he has been enjoying touching his private parts constantly and truthfully I get really irritated just by looking at it. I know it's a normal phase that every toddler goes through but you know, you gotta have a loooot of patience. Oh boy. BOYS.

Ready For Solid Food

Daria is only 6 months old but so far she has been so cooperative when I ask her to model for me LOL.

How To Survive Motherhood

As a mother who works from home and takes care of my children all by myself at home every single day, many friends and followers have come to ask me on how I can survive.  Survive, you say? Yup. Because practically, every day, is, war. Hahah! But you see, you can sort of win the war if you know how the battle (with kids) work. And when it comes to kids, the key is to simply make sure they are happy. So here are some tips on how to survive a day with kids at home without having to lose all your hair. (PS: I have a 3 year old toddler and 5 months old baby girl, so all my tips are based on my own experiences with them which might work or not work with yours. Nevertheless, just wanted to share!).

• First things first; wake up before they do. Waking up early before your kids do has soooo many benefits, including having a quality me-time to sort of just get yourself together (body and mind). You get to pray, do some stretching, check your emails and messages, eat your breakfast comfortably, shower (if you like early morning baths), tidy up the house, and start preparing food for your kids. If you wake up at the same time with your child, you'll feel very jumbled up and end up feeling super exhausted throughout the whole day because you didn't get the time for yourself (or even your own breakfast).
• Early morning, prepare your kid's food for the entire day. Put them in meal containers, fridge them, heat when eating time. Meal times become simpler and faster to serve.
• Kids become the crankiest when they are either sleepy or hungry. And for the latter, therefore, make sure there is enough stock of your child's favorite food at home, especially their snacks. Trust me, kids love their snacks more than their actual big meal. If you keep feeding em right, they'll be happy enough to behave well.
• Let them spin, jump, run around all day long if they want to. Kids need that kind of stimulation. We just have to get used to the noise and consider it as 'white noise'..:D
• Make use of bath time. If you have a bath tub at home, let them play in the tub for a longer time because this is the best time for us moms to rest. I would let my son play his toys inside the bath tub to even stretch the time longer hehehe. I'll just grab a chair and sit next to the tub so I can keep an eye on him while I check my phone or read a book. If you don't have a tub, big buckets work too.
• If possible, have a dedicated room or area inside your home that is completely child proof (safe enough to prevent children from injuring themselves or doing damage). I have a room that is fully cushioned, has no power plugs or sockets, nothing climbable, no nails, no small toys or choking hazards (including batteries), just big-sized toys and books and balls. When I am really tired or need to get some work done, I can let my son play by himself in this room with less worry.
• Make sure there are plenty of toys, books, and other things to do at home that'll keep them busy without having you to always be beside them. For toys, keep them separately in boxes or containers with lids that are rather difficult to open, so that every time they want to play a toy, they will come to you and ask for your help to open it. This allows you to 1) keep track on what they are up to, 2) teach them on communication, 3) teach the concept of finishing one thing before starting another. If they want to play another toy, they will have to put the toy back in its container, and ask for your help (again) to open the other one. For Shahmeer, he loves puzzles very very much so I have a stack of puzzles with different sizes and level of difficulties. Only after he finishes a set of puzzle he is allowed to open and play another one. And puzzles keep him busy so mommy gets to lie down and rest for a bit heheheh.
• Enjoy music together. It does not always have to be Baby Shark or Wheels On The Bus the whoooole day, you know? Nowadays, I like to play live concert videos of my liking too, and invite my kids to sing along with me hehehe. Just choose songs that are friendly for kids and don't contain curse words. And why live concert videos and not official music videos? Because the latter usually has clips which are inappropriate for children, whereas in live concert videos, typically it'll just be singers and the whole band on stage.
• Read books together. As much as it's wonderful to read kids book to your child, there's nothing wrong in reading out your own favorite books to them. I like to read books on marketing, and believe it or not, I like to read them out loud to Shahmeer heheh. This allows me to catch up on my reading while at the same time reading out new words for him. He might not understand, but it's okay!

I guess those are the few tips I can think of right now, and I really hope you find any of them useful! Motherhood is tiring so give time for yourself. It doesn't always have to be about your kids alllllll the time. You deserve to be happy too. 

4 Months Old Charmer

Happy birthday, Daria! I can never not get excited every 23rd! :D

Go Go Daria!

My baby girl is so active already, mashallah. She always kicks, she can lift her head up high when on her tummy, she coos, she screams, she laughs, she responds to our jokes, she is simply the cutest tiny creature in our life.

Happy 3 Months, Daria!

Just look at that smile. I loooooooooove you, little cat! :)

Afternoon Stroll

Walked so much with Daria on my chest today. I think this is my new cardio! :D

River Island nursing top, Bershka jeans, Moschino shoes

Juggle Juggle Wiggle Wiggle

Many of my friends ask me, "how do you do it?", all this living abroad with a toddler and a newborn baby, taking care of the house while also maintaining my businesses and still updating my social media platforms and also, still dressing up taking #OOTD shots, and honestly, I don't know! I don't really think about it, you see. I just do it because I have to and I want to. But I guess, it all comes to planning things right and using the amount of time to do whatever I can do and not fall into my exhaustion, because if I do, I'll just prefer to sleep. I use every minute I have to actually do something. Nowadays, Daria is always about wanting to be fed or simply be on my chest, so I really have little time to do anything with free hands. So when she's calm and not crying, I quickly soap the dishes. And in 5 minutes, she'll cry, so I stop and feed her again a little bit more. When she's calm again, I'll immediately rinse the dishes, put them back in the cabinet, run to get all the dirty clothes and put them inside the washing machine, and I'll quickly get back to Daria because I know she's already about to cry heheh. So I feed her again, and while I'm at it, I'll be staring at my closet planning what to wear today for my #OOTD shot and visualize inside my head all the details from head to toe. When she eventually falls asleep, I'll quickly dress up accordingly, take pics using my tripod, then breathe a bit, eat some chocolates, then attend to her again because she's crying already heheh. And it just goes on and on, doing every single thing in installments with long breaks, but I just do it anyway. I also do most of the things with one hand nowadays, I eat, tidy up the house and work on my laptop using my right hand only because my left hand is always holding Daria. So doing things take longer (and tougher), but that's just the way it is. So I guess, that's how I do it. I just sort of plan ahead, and by "ahead", I'm talking about 5-10 minutes ahead..:D

Summer Girl

My Daria is 1 month 3 days old today. She was born at 2.8 kg and today she weighs 3.95 kg.

Love Your Mother

This photo is a reminder, that I too, was once a baby, a toddler, a living being that must have cried so much, screamed relentlessly, misbehaved in public, not slept through the night, broke things at home, threw food everywhere - practically giving my mom a tough time. But she survived, she still loved me unconditionally, and she became my hero. And therefore, I too, shall survive all the chaos of motherhood, love unconditionally no matter how difficult things might get, and become the hero my children look up to. 💖