It's getting easier to move forward, because 'knowing' and 'understanding' is the key to it all. Pain will always exist, in many forms, at different times, in different degrees. But when we know why things happen, and understand why things happened, dealing with pain becomes easier. It's very important to keep asking questions instead of bluntly accepting things the way they are. When you are able to see things clearly, you tend to less over-'love' and over-'hate' things. You start seeing things in balance. And so you heart is more neutral, and your mind is more calm.
Monday, September 2, 2024
Thursday, August 29, 2024
It's a Sticky Business
A day to remember: the day Daria learned to be an entrepreneur and started her first ever business which she names "Sticky Business", selling stickers she designed on her own. She's been wanting to have her own shop and so I asked her to make me a proposal. After reviewing her many ideas (wallet, clothes, cards, pins, and many others), we agreed on 'stickers'. I also made her propose to me as many designs as possible, and to come up with a concept, color palette, material selection, and voila, her first sticker collection was born. How fun! It was so exciting to see her excited hehe.
Also, we won Best Stand! ๐๐ป
Thursday, June 27, 2024
Fly
I just finished reading this book and now everything, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g makes sense. I get it now. I understand. I was never crazy. I was right all along, and I feel seen, understood, and validated. I wasn't just a crazy woman "complaining" about things, seemingly so ungrateful albeit her truly blessed life. The void and emotional neglect I have endured my whole life, it wasn't "just me". I had every single reason to feel that way, and I was not delusional.
I remember when I was in high school, my friend was dating an older guy who was a psychologist. We all hung out together one day. The next day, my friend told me, that her boyfriend told her, "I think Diana lacks attention and love from her family". As a high schooler, I had no idea what he was even saying. I just responded with a confused face and brushed it off. But I still remember that remark. I have no clue what gave it away to make him draw such a conclusion of me, but yes, he was right all along.
Life isn't perfect. Nobody is perfect. But things can be improved and become better. I cannot control how others act, but I can control how I want to live my life today and tomorrow. I cannot change others, but I can change myself. I cannot change the past, but I can make a change by breaking the cycle.
Today I feel as light as a feather. Perhaps it is time to fly once again.
Thursday, June 13, 2024
Aha
Oh, wow. The day you read a quote and say, "oh, so it is a thing, this thing I've been feeling all this time".
Thursday, May 30, 2024
Shadows
Tuesday, May 14, 2024
The Calm After The Storm
Just before this photo was taken, my son was having a complete meltdown; screaming, crying, scratching me, all while strolling around this beautiful city that is Grenoble in France. So we decided to take a break on this bench. My husband and I made him lie down, we both massaged him while my daughter 'entertained' him by telling a story about how the earth was created. Family teamwork. Slowly my son started to calm down.
Social media is not necessarily 'fake' as many would say, but of course most of us choose to upload our smiley pictures because we want to remember the good, happy memories more than the sad ones. The sad or difficult memories, they just live inside us, like a private space not for the whole world to see. Nevertheless, however one prefers, always choose to be kind. Everyone has their own battles in life. ๐
Sunday, April 28, 2024
You Are The Rainbow
Oh let them stare, let them wonder. Why so colorful, my lady? Because life is only fun when you allow it to be fun. Life needs your permission and your will to be. So be. Just be. You can be pink, you can be yellow. You can be the rainbow, but never shallow. Oh to be the most colorful soul, was never about the clothes anyway. It is your soul, to live like a forever child; kind and free. ❤️๐๐๐๐๐๐งก
Tuesday, April 2, 2024
Happy World Autism Acceptance Day
Happy World Autism Acceptance Day ๐ My son is autistic, non-verbal, has very minimum level of comprehension, cannot read nor write nor count, has to be supervised 24/7, has no sense of danger, is 10 years old and still wears diapers, and he is just who he is. His name is Shahmeer, loud and proud. I am thankful for life, for him, for everything he is, although our life is not at all 'easy'. It felt very difficult in the earlier years, but nowadays, it's the life we know, and we embrace it with love and only love. I am a proud mother of an autistic young boy, and I have never cowered from society's standard of normalcy. Going out with him has always invited many stares from strangers due to the odd noises and body movements he makes, sometimes followed by major meltdowns in public areas too, but I don't want our life to stop just because all that. Let them stare, let them wonder, even better, let them ask me and I will always happily explain about autism.
I have learned, that autism is not a mountain to climb, but a garden to nurture. It requires constant care, knowledge, dedication, commitment and unconditional love to make sure the flowers bloom in the right way, at the right time. My son might not be able to speak, but his love, his love pierces through my heart so strongly. I know he loves me so very deeply, and I do too.
To other parents with autistic children: hold your head up high and be proud. You have the richest life one can ever imagine. Our hearts are so big and it will keep expanding. You will continue to learn so much and you will see life in such great depths. Life becomes incredibly meaningful with all the little wins you see in your child. You and your little one, you are amazing. We can do this ❤️
Monday, March 18, 2024
Hey, Little You.
In case you didn't know, I took my time, gathered my guts, composed myself, structured my thoughts, and told you everything I felt you needed to know. I put it all out there, poured it all out for you. But even after that, nothing changed. In fact, as usual, you dismissed my feelings, making me feel like I was the little child you still think I am.
So here is a note to my younger self: it was never your fault. You were perfect just the way you were. The world was mean to you, you didn't deserve that. But know that you are blessed, because you are a fighter. You have a heart bigger than the universe. Be proud of that.
Tuesday, March 12, 2024
Forgiveness
What does forgiveness look like?
It can look like..
"I'm okay now. Let's be friends again."
"I'm okay now. But let me take my time to just get back to 100% again."
"I forgive you, but I will never forget the hurt you caused."
"I forgive all of this, but I want to be alone until I am ready to deal with life again."
"I feel better, but I will never feel whole again."
"I'm okay now. We're okay. Let's start things over as better human beings."
"I forgive you. I understand why you did that. Just never do that again."
"I forgive you, but I still cannot understand why you did that."
"I'm okay now, but I might not be next time."
"I forgive you, we all make mistakes. I apologize too for my wrongdoings in this matter."
"I forgive you, but I don't think this pain will ever go away. I'll have to learn to live with it."
"I forgive you. And I will always still love you."