Monday, September 28, 2015

Batman & Robin

I just had a long discussion with S. A loooooong long discussion. It's weird how in life, we never seem to feel extremely certain of what it is that we really want to do. We keep changing minds. We love too many things. We want to be able to do everything. I am one who is at that crossroad. Today I realized that the word "passion" may be misleading at times, because knowing what you really really love is not a week's work. It can be a life time discovery. I am 30 and I am shameful for still not being certain about what my actual passion is. Is it business? Fashion? Art? Is it all together? Is that even possible? I don't know. And fyi, I love the corporate world too, you know? Resigning from a 9-5 job doesn't mean I disliked it. I actually liked the routine and the competition and the deadlines. I love everything, and that's where the problem lies.

The discussion I had with S is actually the exact same dialogues I have been having with myself inside my mind for the past few months. While I'm driving, cooking, eating, walking, or lying on my bed, I talk to myself. I ask myself the same questions everyday, and every day I have different answers, which shows how confused I actually am, or just how much I change as a person even on a daily basis. It's like I am on a quest searching for that place where I can finally stop asking questions and finally settle down my mind. I pity my mind, I think it thinks too much.


Fradita Wanda Sari said...

Wah kak. This is new and mind blowing. Di saat jaman sekarang banyak banget orang mendewa dewakan kata2 passion dan pentingnya menemukannya, postingan ini seakan ngingatkan untuk jangan pernah berhenti mencari bahkan ketika udah dapat. There's always something to explore in the other part of the world. Makasih udah berbagi kak :)

Anonymous said...

Take a break, disconnect, and perhaps that will help you clear your mind. Don't forget to enjoy the ride and have lots of fun along the way.

NiaNastiti said...

Saya kira hanya saya saja yang pikirannya selalu bergerak tak terkendali. Passion mungkin memang pencarian seumur hidup. Tapi rasa ingin tahu dan pikiran yang terus berkembang itulah barangkali yang membuat kita hidup tak sekadar hidup ya Kak Di :)

Acel said...

Halo kak Di,
I just read this from Quora yesterday and I thought it would be nice to share it. I guess it's normal to feel like this ;)
Dushka Zapata, I've gone out there, made mistakes and made it back. I'm going out again.
I am 46 years old. By this I mean that I have been 20 and 25 and 29 (and everything in between.) I have at every age been "anxious" to "figure it out". If someone asked me what these years have given me, I would say "Hello. My name is Dushka, and I am an expert at getting lost". Fortunately for me, stumbling around being lost is the only way to accumulate the experience required in getting found. Here is the big fat secret adults keep from younger people.
The age where you think you will have everything figured out never comes. It doesn't exist.
To more directly answer your question, people in their late twenties are anxious about figuring out life because everyone is convinced that happiness lies on the other side of "figuring it out". Instead, happiness is now. Figuring it out is supposed to be fun. It's why we are here.
Feeling like you are the only person who hasn't is an illusion created mostly by yourself.
Figuring it out is another expression for the pursuit of happiness.
Happiness is not "when I turn 30" or "when I find a boyfriend" or "once I get a job" or anywhere in the future. It's within the actual pursuit. Resolve to make it an adventure. Finally, if you were to ask me if it was normal/common to feel lost at 20, 30 and 40 I would say yes. We are all trying to find ourselves.
Here is why: finding yourself is a moving target. The world changes constantly. We change constantly. Once you find yourself you have to begin again.

hanny arianty gultom said...

semangat Die.. i always love your true personality.. <3



Raihanah Rajab said...

Kak Di, thankyou for sharing. Sempet baca beberapa jurnal juga yang bahas tentang itu. Menurutku, "Follow your passion" sudah sedemikian meracuni kita sehari-hari. Nggak cuma butuh sekedar "suka", tapi butuh skill lebih buat menyalurkan energi yang tidak terbatas di ranah itu. Setuju kalo ada yang bilang "Follow your passion" bukan slogan yang bisa ditelan mentah-mentah. Mungkin kalo sempet dan ada waktu senggang, bisa baca jurnalnya di sini Kak Di :

Btw, i love your honestly, post-post yang kaya gini selalu berhasil buat aku berpikir banyak :)

Raihanah Rajab said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
erwan said...

Hai,jadi diri sendiri aja itu buat kebanyakan orang emang susah bgt,krn kita terikat norma dan budaya masyarakat,cm emang kalo kita bisa ngejalaninnya dan g merugikan orang lain go ahead,kan hal2 itu yang membuat dunia jd dinamis, itu yang bikin dunia jadi tambah maju,neway salam kenal ya...

Blogging tips