You know, I don't like it when someone says to me, "if you're sad or upset about your current situation, look out there and see that there are many other people who are less-fortunate than you.". I don't like that mindset, about how we should be (more) grateful for having a life - at least - better than some other people out there. In a way, you are happy for other people's sufferings. I find that very selfish and heartless. When I am sad or upset, I prefer to look up and find motivation from people that are more fortunate than me, and tell myself that "if they can make it, then I can make it too, either in the same way or in my own way.". And being grateful is between us and God, having no need to compare our lives with anyone else out there.
35 comments:
couldn't agree more di!
for me, the only way to make myself feel better is be greatful for what i've already has and what opportunity that might come in the future.
just by looking inside ourself, how lucky we are... countless blessing, healthy body, free air to breath... and so on... and so on...
what a very thoughtful yet wise opinion. well noted in my mind. thanks, Diana.
agree,, more grateful for everything we have for now and reach another bless ahead. thanks Diana :D
setuja mba :)
indeed
loved this one <3
Ah definitely. It kinda bugged me when people said "you should be more grateful if you compare yourself to those who are in worse circumstances." Why? We are dealing with our own problems every day, if we are to be grateful it's not because others have worse than we do, it's more because of realization that after this bad situation there's still hope for better tomorrow and there are people and things God placed around us to help us get through it.
Thanks for sharing, Kak Diana :)
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I think I change my perspective after reading this, thanks kak di:)
absolutely agree with you :)
I have the same mindset with you. I don't like comparing my life with the less fortunate people. Just be thankful of what we already had now. and be grateful for all this time we still can enjoy our life with people we loved. Those are the best gift from God. :)
saya selalu impressed sama pemikiran Kak Diana yang memandang suatu hal bisa dari sisi yang lain dan secara tidak langsung itu mempengaruhi cara pandang saya juga. terima kasih dan salut, Kak Di :)
tetaplah menginspirasi banyak orang dengan creative thoughts Kak Di!
It's weird bc I've been thinking the same thing these days. Sometimes when I'm down, thinking there are many other people who are less-fortunate is not motivating me, really. Not that I'm not grateful for what I have but I agree with you, it's very selfish.
Nice post, kak Di :)
Hi Diana!
I've understand your point there. But, for me, looking at other people that less fortunate does not mean "we are selfish" and "happy for other people suffering". It simply mean to keep us humble, to put our feet on the ground.
Look up for people above us is good for motivation. And look below for people less than us is to keep us humble, to remind us that we need to give back to society when we're above them.
Just my 2 cents. :)
Hi Diana!
I've understand your point there. But, for me, looking at other people that less fortunate does not mean "we are selfish" and "happy for other people suffering". It simply mean to keep us humble, to put our feet on the ground.
Look up for people above us is good for motivation. And look below for people less than us is to keep us humble, to remind us that we need to give back to society when we're above them.
Just my 2 cents. :)
i couldnt agree more.. that selfish phrases also annoyed me.. even when they have it on their prayer like : "thanks for the meal we have while others cannot have it too like blablabla." Sounds nothing that selfish..
hunz
I usually don't know how to react when people give me such statement.
It's not a valid comparison I must say. Not going to make anyone feel better.
But thanks to you now I can answer them back and tell them not to say such thing again. :)
agreed! same with me diana.
i dont like people say to me " kau ni tak bersyukur la"
instead of being tak bersyukur, we are more than bersyukur and we want to improve more, right?
super sekali! kak di ;o
I also hated when people say that, it's straight up comparing my life with others even though their intention was nice.
It bugs me every time.
This post is a great reminder!
wew , very wise opinion :)
Please do not mix the two heart feelings. We have to say thank to God on whatever we get.
But, it does not stop there. We should act to improve and get something better.
There is no wrong with both feelings.
i agree with you! loads of my friends say that to me, but i believe that saying others have it a lot worse than you doesnt make one feels better..
Letters To Juliet
couldn't agree more kak! true true true true! me too, I often see life from that point of view. to have the willingness to be better is better :-D
setuju banget, untung dirimu mengeluarkan tulisan ini, sebelumnya gw ngerasa .. apa gw yang salah kalau ada yg bicara kaya gitu dan hati gw berontak, apa gw emang egois, ternyata ada yang sama. Two thumbs up
Salam
Ah, yes. We have to be careful with our mind. When we are happy on other people's suffering, that's really bad.
Salam
Ah, yes. We have to be careful with our mind. When we are happy on other people's suffering, that's really bad.
yupz.. that's good poin to.. thx for sharing :) nice to meet you.
Wah ngebuka pola pikir baru Kak Di, bener juga ya kalo dipikir-pikir malah bahagia diatas penderitaan orang lain.
Frieda said:
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Hmm. It seems that your point of view has its own contradiction. First you said that "if they can make it, then I can make it too, either in the same way or in my own way". But then you said "And being grateful is between us and God, having no need to compare our lives with anyone else out there"
I think that you yourself are not being consistent with what you said. Because those two bold sentences above are so contradictory to each other.
@Frieda: Perhaps you misunderstood the context dear..I am grateful to God for whatever life I have, without having to compare my life with other people's life. On another note, I motivate myself by seeing other people's success. That's all..:)
no offense, but i think you got this totally wrong.
kalau nasehat ini dipakai untuk sesuatu yang berhubungan dengan prestasi dan segala sesuatu yang kita bisa dapatkan dengan usaha dan kerja keras kita, gw setuju.
but sometimes, there are things are bigger than you and this so-called achievements.
dalam situasi di mana kita tidak bisa melakukan apa2, misalnya karena penyakit, kecelakaan, terlahir dalam keluarga yang kurang mampu dsb yang mana bukan merupakan pilihan atau sesuatu yang bisa diubah dengan kerja keras maupun apapun, mungkin kata2 hiburan seperti ini masih cocok. bukan berarti kita bahagia di atas penderitaan orang, tapi lebih mensyukuri apa yg sudah dikasih sama yang di atas.
just like someone said, it's to keep us humble and realize there are greater power than human beings. and there are people less unfortunate than us by default, not by choice.
sorry to say Di, i had follow and read you blog for quite some time. this post was a let down.
@anonymous: It's totally fine if this post let you down. I'm not a saint or anything near perfect..:)
but let me clairify..
I think banyak yang salah menginterpretasi tulisan saya..maksud saya sangat simpel kok.. contohnya begini:
ada anggota kelurga saya yg kakinya cacat, jadi sangat sakit buat dia utk berjalan. Di kasus yg normal, orang akan cederung bilang, "bersyukurlah kamu masih bisa berjalan. ada banyak orang di luar sana yg malah tidak memiliki kaki. jadi kamu masih beruntung.".
bagi saya, saya akan memilih utk berkata, "saya mengerti bahwa situasi ini sulit, tapi ada orang-orang yg tidak memiliki kaki tapi mereka tetap tegar dan kuat dalam menjalani hidup. jika mereka saja bisa, kamu pastinya juga bisa melalui ini.".
Can you see the difference? :)
Wow wow wow, when did anybody ever say that u r a saint or even close to one? Or that you are perfec? Where did that even come from.
N for the example u gave, not everyone is good at communicating like you do, even when they mean well. Dont we suppose to be a little more considerate to people who dont speak with flowery and flattery words? U always posed like you are a person of high tolerance, well... Pose it is.
I remember not so long ago someone commented that you r a blogger who is unable to take critics and just want people to praise you. Now I really see her point, and couldnt agree more.
@anonymous: waduuuh jadi jauh sekali konteks-nya dear..ini jadi gak relevan sama topik post-nya..:)
tidak apa-apa kok kalo Anda menganggap saya hanya 'pose' atau tidak bisa menerima kritik. "Mengklarifikasi" itu beda sekali dear dengan "tidak bisa menerima kritikan". Alhamdulillah saya selalu berpikiran terbuka dan menerima kritik. Jika Anda tidak setuju, itu terserah Anda yahh..:)
let's agree to disagree yahh..thank you and may peace be upon you always..;)
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