Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Gonna Sleep Now

Photobucket
Thrifted dress worn as top, H&M sequin skirt, Kenzo hat, Asos earrings, Pylones bag, POP Flats shoes

Many things have been going on in my mind, though they are random and vague it feels difficult to describe what they are. I feel exhausted and anxious, and I guess S has been hearing this a lot from me. Thank God he is as patient, understanding and calming as I want him to be whenever I tell him about all this.

I guess whatever I do, whatever I achieve, I can never forget that feeling back in May. The moment when I lost my baby and played the strong-woman who said "I'm okay". Maybe I am, but maybe a part of me isn't. I have fully accepted the reality and understand that God has the best plans for us. I'm just scared. Was it my fault? Was I too tired? Did I not consume enough vitamins? Will I ever get that chance again?

I'm getting to understand the beauty of motherhood. Everyday I babysit my nephew Keenan and no matter how tiring it is, it's simply..beautiful. I guess I just want to experience that too, but with my own child...:')

Running a business is very exhausting too. Even more than working in the corporate world no matter how scary your boss might be or how demanding your client is. Running your own business requires full focus, passion, determination, persistence and the need to always be ready for changes, heartbreaks and failure.

Anyway, I love Allah and I am grateful for everything Allah gives me in life. Insya Allah everything will be okay because good things always come to those who love life.

Good night! :)

29 comments:

ninadayu said...

Keep healthy and never give up kak diana..

SaturdayBrunch said...

Those words are beautiful. May Allah bless you, Diana :)

nourash! said...

wow like your outfit

Lily M said...

It's ok to feel feelings sometimes. Feel it so it's easier to let the feeling go. And please keep trying and trying every single day heheh. Ehm :)

PS. Have the same earrings AND the giant hello kitty pez. OMG unreal. XX

Puput said...

it's a sweet post. hope you will get that chance again, soon. :p
love your flowery dress

Anonymous said...

just believe in Allah SWT Diana. He knows what best for you. just take care of your health, enjoy the moment and be thankful.
Cheers, Kiky Mizanie

newtha said...

keep the spirit on, no matter what the obstacle is, as long as you have Allah and your beloved people, then everything will always be alright in the end.. :D

Monica said...

you'll be fine,dear. chin up and pray hard.

Adorable said...

Banyak kisah Ketika seorang calon-ibu kehilangan bayi nya dan menenggelamkan diri dalam pekerjaan then bilang ke semua orang "I am Ok".

Does it work? unfortunately a big NO.

Mungkin Ok untuk seminggu, sebulan, tapi when there is silent night between the mother and herself, she realized she wasnt Ok. And what I am trying to say here, sometimes It's OK not to be ok Dear. You don't need to stay strong all the time, you can cry if you want because that is part of our HUMANITY, it's proof that we have feelings. Give a break for yourself, you can't erase the feeling even when you are in the crowded place and tight schedule. You need your "me-time" to heal the pain, to understand deeper the meaning "I know God, this is the best for us", pray more, talk to God more,relief your heart. Remember, For indeed, with hardship (will be) ease. Karena sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan (Quran 94:5)

I am sorry for your lost and I believe all of your reader, silent reader, your supporter, your family are praying for you to share the love and give you strength.

Insha Allah, every good thing comes to those who pray.

Calita Hin said...

loveee your bag kak ! :)

ristlicious said...

kak, biasanya kalo photo indor dimana sih?? bagus2 tempatnya..

febrina utami putri said...

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Yuriza Astari Rizkyta said...

Love your outfit! :)

Agnes Oryza Kristel said...

Ahh I miss you Kak Diana... Inget dimana kita suka cerita2, share, walaupun kadang random....
God must have the best plan for us that even human cannot imagine it.
Istirahat kak, mgkn porsi sibuknya dikurangin dikiiittt aja.. Tetap percaya dan berusaha, let God do the rest :)
Love you kak Di :*
GBU

AuL Howler said...

Cute

Love your wall, princess diana!

Mustika said...

kak di itu yg kayak pot bunga, tas?
lucu beud :*

Ollyvia Laura Arnold said...

stay healthy kak :) and never lose your hope

http://ollyvialaura.blogspot.com/2012/11/one-time-one-thing.html

Ollyvia Laura Arnold said...

stay healthy kak :) and never lose your hope

http://ollyvialaura.blogspot.com/2012/11/one-time-one-thing.html

sihijau said...

Yes true.. just love your life.. you wikl never ever walk alone.. :)

Diana Rikasari said...

Thank you so so much, everyone...it really means a lot...God bless you all..:')

bonitaayu said...

My tearing comin off, I believe that u r blessed diana. keep loveable ;)

bonitaayu said...

My tear comin off. :') I believe that u r blessed diana. keep lovable and spread the life with shine ;)

hanny arianty gultom said...

your eyes Die, tell me so.. just keep praying and believing .. love

julika said...

hallo,sobat

julika said...

informasinya memang menarik

julika said...

saya ikut nyimak artikelnya... sangat bermanfaat banget

Mitha Komala said...

kak dii i wish you all the best! may all your wishes be granted by the Almighty. stay strong and inspiring <3

Letters To Juliet

Anonymous said...

Kak Di! Jangan sedih, terus berusaha dan berdoa. Yang sabar, nanti juga dikasih. Hasil buah sabar itu manis kak Di!

Mershelly Syanel said...

Pengalaman kk sama kayak aq... Hehehe... :)
Semoga kita segera diberi kesempatan jadi ibu, aamiin...

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