Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Untitled

Why do I find it difficult for me to let go of whatever problems I had in the past? They just keep on haunting me, dragging me back into the cave of fear that surrounds me with all the darkness. At times like this, I then crawl and hide under my blanket, and stay inside the comfort zone of those who know me best. I limit myself, and refuse to step outside and see ones who I know will ask me questions regarding my issues. I just don’t have the courage to construct my words over and over again cuz it’ll all just turn into tears.

And yes, I then try to distract myself by doing things that seem foolish and unessential. I go shopping and drink at Starbucks till late at night, pretending that my life is so damn nice. I laugh and laugh hoping that this burden inside would just fade away as I run away. And I’m wrong. The more I run away, the bigger and faster the shadows chase me. Until I end up talking to myself last night. Pretending that I was talking to someone, letting out my feelings. Pathetic, huh?

5 comments:

hunz said...

hai.. hai.. my dear friend. i think it's not pathetic.. sometimes i did it.. i try to speak to myself by writing a poem.. as if i were myself best friend.. hehe, it's releave me.. i think you have to deal with the problem now!or never, i mean make friend with the problem and then let it go.. i'm not trying to teach you for i don't know what's exactly yer problem is.. but come on Die you can do it!!! hehehe.. love to see yer smile indeed... ^_^

regards,

ms. hunz

C.J.B. said...

Such a brave post to put out into the world, I know how that feels I lived inside my room for like three months once in an effort to not deal with anyone. It can get better though, the more outlets you have the easier it becomes....blog, journal whatever just let it out somehow. The hardest person to admit things to is usually yourself not others.

Z//A said...

Hi, hope ure feeling better soon. I guess there will always be a day (or week) that we feel so depressed. I wish that ull feel better soon! :)

Belle said...

i do the same thing sometimes. i've learned that the only one holding me back from what i want is usually myself. just do what you want and reach for your own happiness, because your life isn't controlled by anyone else.

Diana Rikasari said...

thank you so much guys...i've been very depressed inside lately, but i tried to be strong even though it ended in me feeling worst...so here I went, admitting my feeling and letting it go out into the world...i shud be grateful of my life, so i shudn't feel this way for too long...thank you :)

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