Why do I find it difficult for me to let go of whatever problems I had in the past? They just keep on haunting me, dragging me back into the cave of fear that surrounds me with all the darkness. At times like this, I then crawl and hide under my blanket, and stay inside the comfort zone of those who know me best. I limit myself, and refuse to step outside and see ones who I know will ask me questions regarding my issues. I just don’t have the courage to construct my words over and over again cuz it’ll all just turn into tears.
And yes, I then try to distract myself by doing things that seem foolish and unessential. I go shopping and drink at Starbucks till late at night, pretending that my life is so damn nice. I laugh and laugh hoping that this burden inside would just fade away as I run away. And I’m wrong. The more I run away, the bigger and faster the shadows chase me. Until I end up talking to myself last night. Pretending that I was talking to someone, letting out my feelings. Pathetic, huh?